Hubby Interview – Mr. SPW

It is no secret that men make up the vast majority of readers of this blog and many of the blogs in this genre.  For the old Spades Mag, I was able to figure out that just over 80% of my readers were men, both single and married.  My email was always inundated with emails and messages from married men who wanted to know the inside stories of the women I interviewed, how they got to the point in their lives and marriages and how they could get their wives to do the same.  I tried to advise these men in the best way that I could but I have never been married. I have also never initiated the hotwife journey for any woman.  I was at a loss on how to help these gentlemen.

That’s when I came across a great interview with Rebecca Dreams ex-husband that was done by my friend, The Cuckold Consultant.  The interview was brilliant and gave an insight that is very often missing from the discussion – the perspective and experience of the husband’s and partners of the QoS/Hotwives that we adore and support.  I thought it was a raw and honest discussion of everything from the beginning of Al and Rebecca’s journey, the fun times they had, Al’s side and the reasons for the ending of their union.  I knew instantly that I would have to start including the perspectives of the male partners on the Spades Mag and giving the unique experiences a voice and platform too.

Since I started blogging I have developed some really good relationships with many of the husbands of the QoS/Hotwives that I profile.  One of those husbands is Mr. SPW, the husband of 2016 Queen of Spades of the Year SecretPlaywife.  One day about 2 years after I launched Spades Mag Mr. SPW reached out to me to tell me that he and his wife were avid readers and fans of the blog.  He and SecretPlaywife had launched a Tumblr blog that was already a couple of years old and he wanted to know if I would be interested in interviewing her for the blog. Once I took a look at her Tumblr I knew instantly she was definitely someone who needed to be on Spades Mag.  Since that initial conversation, we have corresponded frequently and consider both of them to be my good friends.  They have supported me and this blog and have become part of a small group that advises me on ideas that I have for the future of this blog and its brand.

So I knew there was no one else who would be better for the first hubby interview of the new Spades Mag.  Mr. SPW’s interview exceeded my highest expectations. I will you will enjoy it too.

This will be the 1st of many such interviews. I plan to interview husbands, boyfriends, and cuckolds.  Maybe I will even find someone who is willing to let us chronicle his partner’s transformation into a QoS as it happens.  If you are a husband, boyfriend or a cuckold of a hotwife/Queen of Spades and want to be interviewed, please reach out to me @

Check out SecretPlaywife’s answer to What She Loves About BBC and Part I of The 21 Reasons She Chooses BBC.  Please support and follow her at –


Spades Magazine: Hello MrSecretPlayWife. Welcome to Spades Mag. Tell us about you.

MrSecretPlayWife: I’m Mr. SecretPlayWife. That’s how everyone knows me. My wife decided about three years ago to let her face and encounters be posted on the internet. She went from secret play to not-so-secret play but kept her original moniker of SecretPlayWife. The secret now is the identity of the very regular, non-porn guys she plays with.

SM: How long have you & your wife/girlfriend been together?

MrSPW: Many many enjoyable years.  

SM: When did you 1st realize you had a hotwife fetish?

MrSPW: I wanted it to happen for quite a long time but never thought it would and didn’t want to risk the relationship asking.

SM: How long have you been in the Queen of Spades/Hotwife lifestyle?

MrSPW: My wife went from monogamous to active hotwife four years ago. She transitioned to mostly QOS about three years ago and to full QOS (BBCs only, plus me) two years ago.

SM: What drew you to it?

MrSPW: My wife has large breasts that sometimes wants to spill out of her clothes. On occasion, naked hot tubbing or something would happen around other couples. Other times my wife would wear a thong and a short skirt to play pool. Billiards occasionally requires a long bent-over reach. I liked when guys checked out my wife.

SM: Who initiated your journey into the life? You or your wife/girlfriend?

MrSPW: I asked her to try it. She didn’t believe that husbands would want to loan their wives. She, like so many people, believed all husbands were frothing jealous rage types on the inside who present a culturally acceptable exterior. I informed her that a large percentage were like Ferrari owners who want everyone to look at their car and ask for rides and tell them how envious they are – provided the car always gets returned to the garage in perfect condition.

SM: How did you finally get your wife/girlfriend to come around and what was that process like?

MrSPW: My wife was a monogamous wife who felt her sexiest days had passed. She dismissed my protests to the contrary as mere husband-bias. I convinced her to let me post nudes of her with her face hidden, then after a few weeks, I showed her the comments. Guys liked seeing her naked. This genuinely surprised her because she focuses on her imperfections and figured us guys did too. But having so many guys talk about how sexy she was opened her up to “the conversation.”

SM: What was your experience like transitioning from this just being a fantasy to having it actually happen in reality? What hesitations/reservations did you have?  How did you overcome them or manage them?

MrSPW: My wife didn’t orgasm from intercourse, but with the help of a vibrator she orgasms clitorally and I help in that process. Thus the initial discussion was based on her fulfilling a desire of mine to see her pleasuring another man. The trust in our relationship was strong so the obstacles were (a) she didn’t think she was sexy enough to turn on another man (silly wife), and (b) she didn’t want me using that as an excuse to have affairs myself. Once all assurances were done, she agreed. It was fun for us both and fodder for later bedroom talk and vibrator orgasms.

Then a BBC taught her to squirt. I didn’t know she could do that! Suddenly, orgasming during intercourse was not only possible, but expected, and multiple at that – provided you had the equipment length, athleticism, and skill to make it happen. That’s when my wife really began enjoying this hobby. And BBCs.

She gets very turned on when she sees a handsome fit, black man. I get turned on when she switches modes from the daily activities of being a wife and career professional to that of being in sexual lust. She gets “that look.” I love that look.  And the takeback sex is incredible.

SM: Has the Life lived up to your expectations or exceeded them?

MrSPW: Exceeded, by far. My wife makes it fun for me because she has fun. She doesn’t feel guilty afterward or worry about it. She simply resumes being the wife, mother, and career professional that she is during 85% of our lives. It’s a shared hobby that I enjoy and she enjoys.

SM: Would you consider yourself a cuckold or a Stag husband?

MrSPW: Stag, definitely.

We know a few cuck/cuckoldress couples and consider them our friends, but the humiliation and male bi play isn’t anything we’re interested in. Most of the guys she meets ask for assurances that we’re stag/vixen because they are just normal local guys who want a hookup and like that a husband is there to admire their prowess, so it works out well. In our experience, cuck play is enjoyed by many as fantasy play but stag/vixen dominates in real life encounters.

We actually consider her play “vixing” as opposed to hotwifing since cuckold/hotwife has come to mean some element of caging/cleaning/bi leaving no term for stag/vixen play.

SM: What is the best thing to happen to you since you joined the Life?

MrSPW: Having my wife learn to climax repeatedly during intercourse. It’s made her hungry for sex.

SM: What is the worst thing to happen to you since you joined the Life?

MrSPW: We have never had anything overtly bad arise from our hobby. No guy has been really bad or dangerous. We deal with the occasional minor drama fairly easily. So the worst is spending inordinate amounts of time trying to line up play events for the limited windows of availability we have. The amount of messaging and confirmations it takes can consume an entire day or more. If we have room for play in an evening, we have other things to do during that day. This challenge makes us skip a lot of opportunities, unfortunately.

SM: What is the sexiest/kinkiest thing to happen since you joined the Life?

MrSPW: Both of these have happened. You tell me which would win in your mind:

  • Watching 7 BBCs take turns round-robin airtighting my previously monogamous wife.
  • Dropping her off at an airport to have her return two days later fucked by 24 BBCs.

SM: What is the biggest fantasy that you have yet to fulfill? What would you like to see your wife do that hasn’t happened yet?

MrSPW: Have a BBC take her for the evening and drive her to a location where other BBCs are waiting whom neither she nor I have met or screened, then receive kiks with videos of my wife being used by the group of them.

SM: What do you think couples/husbands/boyfriends should know about this Life if they are considering joining?

MrSPW: There’s a lot of trust you will place in the hands of others with your photos and experiences, and they, in turn, are trusting in you. Everyone gets this. No one has ever broken our trust, and we won’t break theirs. It’s actually gratifying to experience the best of people in this way.

SM: What would you fix about the Life?

MrSPW: Easy answer: the flaking. Setting up play dates with a venue that is safe from unwanted family intrusion is not easy. Getting the Mrs ready for playing is also not trivial since she does several things to prep for possible deep throats and DPs. Dedicating an evening to awaiting the arrival of another person means declining to do other activities for the entire night. So it’s incredibly disappointing when the person does not arrive.

We both feel the high flake rate largely stems from a person wanting to turn a fantasy into a reality but not having the ability to do so, yet they don’t inform us of the obstacles. Whether it’s a significant other they can’t get away from, a drive they cannot afford the time or money to take, or the reality of their looks versus the flattering photos they post, they maintain their excitement through to the end when, inevitably, they flake. SecretPlayWife often took that to mean she wasn’t attractive enough to incent them to deliver on their promise, but after sharing stories with other couples, many with drop dead gorgeous wives, we know it’s inherent in this hobby and not a reflection of us.

We really want to fix this. By that I mean, we want to be the couple that makes this a thing of the past for all couples.

SM: Do you have other partners as well or do you only share your wife?

MrSPW: The short answer is she plays, I’m monogamous. The nuanced answer is that she lets me play with other women when I want, and sometimes I want, and so I have. But our hobby is 97% about her orgasming and my watching my nice, normal, career and family-focused wife deep throat three or four large cocks before climaxing so many times she dehydrates.

When I initially asked her to play, she wanted an assurance that it wasn’t a ruse to get reciprocal rights; that I wasn’t seeking permission to have affairs. I assured her it was about her fun and my enjoyment of seeing her have fun. I stick by that.

SM: Does your family (relative, parents, etc) know about your participation in the hotwife lifestyle? If so, what would they say?

MrSPW: For the first couple of years, no one knew. Then a couple of family members told us they had discovered it. While it was an awkward conversation, they said they accepted that we choose this hobby for us, and, thus far, it hasn’t created any family drama. We try to keep it confidential though. Most of our friends, coworkers, and colleagues do not know (or haven’t informed us they know). Our view is that if you find us, it’s because you are interested in interracial hotwife porn, so who are you to judge? I’m proud that my wife stands up for sexual empowerment.

SM: Where can we follow you and your wife/girlfriend online?

MrSPW: After a couple of years of posting to free sites we created a pay site to post her encounters, but its purpose is to fund the creation of a new dating site that solves the high messaging, short availability notification, and high flake rates inherent in this lifestyle. Its design is outlined but programming is more expensive than I anticipated. I’m hoping the site will transition from a SecretPlayWife site to a dating site during this year. That site is And you can enjoy her pics for free at and

SM: Thanks for the interview. Any closing words?

MrSPW: Yes. I want to thank you, Drew, sincerely, for being a huge fan and encouraging supporter of my wife. You have been a great force for helping real people delve into this lifestyle and make it a reality. No other hobby compares, in my opinion, so it’s a genuine service you are providing.