21 Reasons I Choose BBC Pt. 2

Ever wonder why a Queen of Spades or a Hotwife would choose BBC? Well, I got one of my good friends, SecretPlayWife, to give us 21 reasons why she chooses BBC!!! SecretPlaywife was the 2016 Queen of Spades of the Year for the original Spades Mag so I think she would know a thing or 2 about picking BBC. Now to be fair, SecretPlaywife already wrote this piece for her website, HallPassZone.com.  She was gracious enough to give me permission to share it with you all here on Spades Mag.  I have divided the 21 reasons into 3 parts and I will be publishing Reasons 8-14 today.  Click here to read Part 1. Look for Part 3 to hit the blog on Tuesday, December 11th.

All opinions expressed in the following article are SecretPlaywife’s and do NOT reflect ALL Queens of Spades and Hotwives.  I encourage QoS and Hotwives who agree to leave a comment if they agree or have a reason that was not shared.  Finally please support and follow SecretPlayWife.  You can find her on her website, Tumblr, and Twitter.

Ok SecretPlayWife, take it away.



21 Reasons I Choose BBC (Reasons 8-14)



My entire life has been about monogamous marriage and the traditional family. Then, 3 years ago,  I decided to give my husband his wish of watching me with another man. This site attests to my having enjoyed becoming a hotwife.

The first year I played mostly with Caucasian men from Ashley Madison (one of the few actual breathing women on that site I’m told), and with Caucasian and Hispanic men at swing clubs. Then we started hosting and I played with Caucasian and Hispanic men at my place, as well as a smattering of BBCs recommended by some other hotwife couples.

The second year we added more BBCs and reduced non-BBC attendees, but I played with some non-BBCs when I hosted and lots of non-BBCs when I went to clubs.

The third year I became BBC only. I went full Queen of Spades.

Note that my version of QOS isn’t cuck or husband denial. Mr. Spw has sex with me as always and is straight and alpha, but both of us agree that for us it’s more fun to wife share me with BBCs than with other men. But it’s still wife sharing. There’s no BBC supremacy, there’s no caging, there’s no fluffing or cleanup or dominating of my husband.

Here’s the part you might not expect: Our version of QOS makes our BBC guests more comfortable as well.

IMPORTANT: I don’t choose BBCs because I think black men are superior. They are fantastic guys and I enjoy playing with them. The Caucasian, Hispanic, Indian, and Japanese men I’ve played with are likewise fantastic and I enjoyed playing with them as well. As you’ll see from my list, most of the attributes that steered me towards BBCs are based on a comfort with the nuances of hotwifing, rather than anything inherent in any person. Thus, I hope this list will serve as a guide to everyone on how to be the best stallion or bull you can be. Anyone can do 90% of the things in my list.


BBC Preference Reason 8 – Drives Longer Distances

Los Angeles is a large city. More correctly, it’s actually 5 counties with an endless string of cities touching one another for 100 miles in from the water. It just so happens that I live quite a ways away from the water, around San Bernardino, and a lot of hot BBCs live much closer to the water. That means they have a 60 mile or even 90-mile hike if they actually want to meet me (I don’t go to the guys, see my other post as to why).

Pre-QoS I received requests from guys of all races and ages to meet if they were anywhere in Southern California. When I told them generally where I am (I’m never too specific), they usually ask if I’ll come to them or meet them half-way. Post-QoS I receive requests from guys of all races and ages to meet, exactly as before, but the stallion BBCs rarely ask if I’ll drive halfway, they say I’m too far or, often, that they’d be willing to drive that very long distance… AND THEY SHOW UP!

Yes, many, if not a majority, of the BBCs you see in my encounter pics drove a tremendous distance to attend one of my BBC&Me parties. Many came from San Diego, a 2-hour drive that takes 3 hours on weekend evenings. Most came from Long Beach or Orange County, a 90-minute drive, and some came from Las Vegas, a 4-hour drive that can be longer on a weekend night.

THAT’S CRAZY. I’m just a wife, 40s and faulted and flabbed. I got started in this because I had told my husband I no longer felt sexy and wanted to wear frumpy clothes and “act my age”. He insisted I was still sexy and others would think so too and set out to prove it. He succeeded. But nothing, and I mean nothing, makes a woman feel as special as having a guy fight Los Angeles freeways for two hours to meet me, and then express glee when he does.

BBC Preference Reason 9 – Willing to Send Face Pics

This is a very broad generalization, everyone is different and everyone is an individual. That said…

Both Mr. Spw and I share the screening process for guys. I usually look at the guy’s pics and hubby usually checks out their blog or something and lets me know if there’s something not to my taste (heavy cuck play, shemale, young girls, BDSM with bruising, etc. Note, most don’t have those obstacles). When I screen, I almost always want to see a guy’s face before deciding whether to meet him. That presents a problem for the guy. I’m someone he doesn’t know, and I have a blog in which I post lots of pics online. Scary! I always tell guys their pics won’t get posted, they are for my eyes only. Plus, when you scroll down my online streams you will see that I post encounter pics but never the selfies or pics the guys send to me pre-meetup.

Before I went QoS, the struggle to convince guys to send their face pic was just part of the process, one of the many difficulties entailed in hotwifing. But to my pleasant surprise, it became far easier once I went QoS. The stallion BBCs send face pics almost always, and without a struggle. They trust I will be discreet, and I never violate their confidence. Placing your trust in someone creates a small bond. It’s a compliment to be trusted by the guys, and I appreciate that they extend that compliment to me prior to meeting me. Your results may vary, and I should point out that many non-BBC guys have been trusting of me and sent their pics to me. This is something where I think a greater familiarity with hotwifing, in general, lends itself to more trust of those who participate. In my region of the country, it appears more BBCs are comfortable with the hotwife lifestyle whereas non-BBC guys are perhaps more familiar with the norms of swinging (or gravitate towards NSA adultery, ala Ashley Madison, with the request “don’t tell your husband” and “can we get a motel room” type of texts).

BBC Preference Reason 10 – Okay Stroking in Front of Others

My husband doesn’t like to jack off in front of other guys.

But guess what? I  *need* guys at my party to stroke themselves. That’s how they stay hard and get themselves ready to jump in. An untouched boner doesn’t stay stiff for long, and I only have two hands (and one mouth and one pussy and one anus, okay, I digress. lol). Watch our vids and you’ll see a lot of guys standing or sitting nearby waiting their turn or just getting themselves ready based on the stimulation of the action before them.

My stallion BBC guests, generally, have no problem stroking themselves in front of the other guys while encouraging the stallion currently on me to tap me or cum in me or make me climax or whatever. YAY! Seriously, I can’t express highly enough how much better the parties are because of that comfort level with sex and sexuality, and their ability to get themselves hard when their turn comes.

BBC Preference Reason 11 – Willing to Go to a Stranger’s House

We host at our place. It’s way easier for us. (See my other post about hotwife hosting vs swing club for the reasons)

Guys you find online view you as a woman or couple THEY found online. I’m a stranger to almost every guy I invite. They have to be willing to come to a stranger’s house and enter at odd times usually when it’s dark. In my pre-QoS days, we had a lot of guys who talked themselves out of coming because as the day approached, the reality of the task overtook their horniness. They envisaged they would be taking a huge risk that we weren’t going to rob them, injure them, tie them up, or whatever other crazy fear they might conjure.

When I began hosting BBC parties, I still had some flaking (and still do, unfortunately). But the rate reduced, and a large part of the reduction was the trust level of stallion BBCs (on average, generalizing here, exceptions apply). They tell me they are familiar with wife sharing. It’s not weird to them. Thus they trust they can go to a private home sex party and it’ll just be a normal couple with a wife who likes to have threesomes or moresomes. Nothing weird, nothing dangerous. And they’re right. It’s just a normal couple in a normal house who puts out a mattress so the wife can have a threesome or moresome. Nothing more.

BBC Preference Reason 12 – Larger Cocks

Yeah, this is a controversial topic. Read it all before you explode.

I am not a size queen. I like them large enough, but don’t need them porn star large. Too small and they stand little chance of making me climax. Not interested. What’s the point? Too long and they hit my cervix and start to cause a lot of pain quickly. Ouch. I’m not going to take the pain in order to make better pics. Sorry, I’m in this for my pleasure, not the pics.

Let me say up front, there are lots of non-BBC guys who are plenty large enough to get me off. No question. I’ve enjoyed MANY non-BBC guys with large cocks and had lots of fun.

But fake cock selfies are a real thing

They aren’t fake per se, they are close-ups with the cell phone wide angle lenses pointed just right to make a small to average cock look LARGE. Plus there are guys who use someone else’s dick pic and say it’s theirs. Neither hubby nor I can effectively counter these distortions.

If a guy shows up and it’s a different guy than his face and body pics, he’s asked to leave immediately. But if he is who he appeared to be in the pics and his cock is meh size when the pic showed what appeared to be a large cock, I’m not going to kick him out. He used a flattering angle. So what. I insist my hubby use flattering angles of me, and I’m sure many guys have felt my belly was bigger than they assumed from the pics we post.

There’s one way to better your odds of finding a bigger cock without having to spend too much time scrutinizing the dick pics. Invite BBCs. On average (lots of exceptions apply), they have large cocks. Probably 7.5″ to 8.5″ with an occasional 9″ (true measurement, which is pretty big. Don’t believe me? Measure a beer bottle). If you have one attendee with a smaller cock, no worries, that guy is easier to suck and might be just the ticket for backdoor play or the backside of a DP.

BBC Preference Reason 13 – Comfortable Chatting w Attendees

My first parties had that quiet sex vibe similar to strip clubs. In the movies, strip clubs are rowdy places with confident outgoing men. In my experience and my husband’s, they are elevator quiet when it comes to conversation. No one wants to be that guy who talks to other strangers at a strip club or swinger club. Swinger clubs, in the playrooms, likewise have no sound beyond the background music if there is music, and the occasional female moan everyone covets.

I don’t like quiet. Not for 2 or 3 hours. It’s uncomfortable.

There’s a different vibe at a BBC gangbang event. You can hear it in my videos. Everyone is chatting to the side, but yet paying attention to when the action picks up and then everyone tunes in and the guys actually encourage the stallion who’s fucking me. Get that, don’t let up, make her squirt. Lots of banter. It puts everyone at ease. Joking and laughing are the norms. It’s FUN. It’s not just sex, it’s enjoyment of the guys and the experience. This happens despite the guys not knowing one another before meeting at the party. They just click into the chatter. Same with latecomers. In my prior non-BBC parties, latecomers felt odd because I was playing so couldn’t greet them and hubby was videoing or something and could only provide a brief hello, and they then had to find a place to stand and they did the usual head nod to the other guys. When a late-comer arrives at my BBC only parties, they get a big greeting with the guys answering the door and introducing themselves, usually to a bro hug, and then they get chatted up and involved right away. There’s a comfort at being around sex and sexual activities that make it WAY more comfortable for the guys, for me and for my husband.

BBC Preference Reason 14 – Fewer Pre-Meet Questions

Inviting guys to attend a hotwife party, even if free and hosted by us, is the amount of communication it takes to confirm attendance. We have to cast a wide net of a lot of inquiries of a lot of guys and narrow down to those who reply timely and provide all the screening info we request. A common time sink is to answer act by act which things I like and which I don’t, what I allow and what I don’t. It seems it can go on for half a day of text or email round robins.

  1. I need to figure out if you’ll come and move on to other guys. I only have so much time I can spend in email or messenger, especially with non G-rated pics showing. I’m usually with family or co-workers or in a public place.

Most stallion BBCs don’t ask many questions. They know they’ll likely get oral and they’ll get to put their cock in my pussy. If I require condoms, they’ll use them. If I say no to something, we skip it. If I ask for something (like a DP), they’ll try to accommodate me. It’s very go with the flow and chill. Just the way I like it.